ROLLING STONES - Hackney Diamonds (2023)

It is nothing short of a miracle that Mick Jagger still sounds this good. But the material on the Rolling Stones new album Hackney Diamonds, their first collection of original songs in 18 years, is garbage. Keith and Ronnie might as well be in the ground already. Their presence is barely even felt throughout the whole album. The guitar riffs are third rate cookie cutter cliches. Even when Keith sings a lead vocal it's half-assed and unremarkable. Steve Jordan is a fine drummer but this sound is so far removed from Charlie Watts that this doesn't sound remotely like the Rolling Stones. Its closest kin would be a Mick Jagger solo record from the '90s. Or worse yet like Collective Soul or some other similarly disposable act from 30 years ago. Lady Gaga's contribution here is completely and utterly superfluous. The album credits list Elton John and Stevie Wonder as contributors but there is nowhere to be found anything that resembles a contribution from either man that could elevate this dreck above mediocrity. It hurts my heart to say it because I've been a big fan of this band for most of my life but very seriously I tell you that A.I. could generate a better Rolling Stones album than this. Somebody should tell them sometimes more is less. But it seems to me they should already know that, having built their career on three chords. Shitty cover art too, but that's nothing new. These guys are like Batman. "You can't kill an idea." We've been sold an image. Over and over again for so many years that the image has become reality. But the artistry is dead. Stick a fork in 'em.